1:41 am on the LIRR

Announcement upon changing trains at Jamaica:

This is the train to Long Beach. Ladies and gentlemen, as part of our Clean Train Campaign, please be aware that there are restrooms located on every other car of this train. With the combination of alcoholic beverages, fatty foods, and the rhythmic motion of the train, please remove yourself to one of the restrooms if you feel the urge to yak. The next station is Locust Manor.

The Writer's Tale - a gloss

To: Benjamin Cook
From: Russell T. Davies
Sent 23 December, 03:45 AM
Subject: re: re: re: David's arse

I've got it! The great "Maybe" swirling around my head has finally come together into the perfect image: Midshipman Frame! And Ianto Jones! Fighting intergalactic crime! Shirtless! On a giant CGI pterodactyl! And then dying tragically in each other's arms! Oh, I'm brilliant, I am.

I'll have to give the Doctor something to do, don't want to upset David. He can blow up Wales I suppose. But it's perfect! All I have to is cut 2563 CGI days from the rest of the BBC's lineup to pay for it. And we were supposed to start filming three months ago, so I reckon I need to convince the Queen to push Christmas back a couple weeks. But she owes me one.

To: Russell T. Davies
From: Benjamin Cook

Dude, we finished the damn book. Stop using these emails as an excuse to write fan fiction about your own bloody characters.

To: Benjamin Cook
From: Russell T. Davies

I was wrong. I'm a fraud. It's hollow and vapid and fannish and trite, and it can't possibly work. But we're gonna go ahead with it anyway because I haven't got anything better. I need a drink.




[I actually really enjoyed The Writer's Tale and highly recommend it. But it is oh so easy to mock.]