The Writer's Tale - a gloss

To: Benjamin Cook
From: Russell T. Davies
Sent 23 December, 03:45 AM
Subject: re: re: re: David's arse

I've got it! The great "Maybe" swirling around my head has finally come together into the perfect image: Midshipman Frame! And Ianto Jones! Fighting intergalactic crime! Shirtless! On a giant CGI pterodactyl! And then dying tragically in each other's arms! Oh, I'm brilliant, I am.

I'll have to give the Doctor something to do, don't want to upset David. He can blow up Wales I suppose. But it's perfect! All I have to is cut 2563 CGI days from the rest of the BBC's lineup to pay for it. And we were supposed to start filming three months ago, so I reckon I need to convince the Queen to push Christmas back a couple weeks. But she owes me one.

To: Russell T. Davies
From: Benjamin Cook

Dude, we finished the damn book. Stop using these emails as an excuse to write fan fiction about your own bloody characters.

To: Benjamin Cook
From: Russell T. Davies

I was wrong. I'm a fraud. It's hollow and vapid and fannish and trite, and it can't possibly work. But we're gonna go ahead with it anyway because I haven't got anything better. I need a drink.




[I actually really enjoyed The Writer's Tale and highly recommend it. But it is oh so easy to mock.]